over to the desk with my robe draped open, cradling a
warm cup o' java and stroking the three-day-old growth
sprouting on my jawline, at which point I sit down,
give my knuckles a nice healthy *CRAAAACK* and proceed
to order a whole bunch of stuff for everyone online.
My LEAST favorite part would probably be getting
kicked out of Office Max before I was finished.
Let's get the Christmas stuff out of the way, m'kay?
Top of the Heap: Will the Real Santa Claus Please Stand Up?
http://www.collectorsweekly.com/articles/will-the-real-santa-claus-please-stand-up/
21 Ways to Keep Santa Real (because he obviously is) For Your Kids
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/ways-to-keep-santa-real-for-your-kids
25 Killer Websites That Make You Cleverer
http://alturl.com/y6xud
Reasons Why Christmas in LA is Actually Magical
http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/reasons-why-christmas-in-la-actually-isnt-so-bad
Santa Photos That Will Make Your Skin Crawl
http://alturl.com/hmb62
Some Awesomely Terrible Christmas Songs (to make sure your party is a success)
http://alturl.com/yjf7u
13 of the Weirdest Holiday Movies, Ever
http://flavorwire.com/429769/13-of-the-weirdest-holiday-movies/view-all/
Insisting Jesus was white is bad history and bad theology
http://alturl.com/ft94i
Are you on Santa's Naughty or Nice list? (Guess which one I'm on!)
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/naughty/
12 Last-Minute Entertainment Gifts for the Geek in Your Life
http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/12/gift-guide-christmas-2013/
And, for the rest of you heathens:
Top of the Heap: Incredibly cool: The first video ever of the Moon orbiting the Earth
http://alturl.com/ytyw8
17 Ancient, Abandoned Websites That Still Work
http://mentalfloss.com/article/53792/17-ancient-abandoned-websites-still-work
Awwww! The Most Popular Kitten Names of 2013
http://alturl.com/wbxzx
19 Things You Might Not Know About Spongebob Squarepants
http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/19-things-you-might-not-know-about-spongebob-squarepants
10 Cool Places You're Not Allowed to Visit
http://www.oddee.com/item_98792.aspx
10 Movies You've Been Watching in Altered Versions
http://flavorwire.com/429236/10-movies-youve-been-watching-in-altered-versions/view-all/
If you fly United Airlines (like I do) you're probably pretty sick and tired of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue"
http://www.neatorama.com/2013/12/13/George-Gershwins-Rhapsody-in-Blue/#!pPC2u
15 Bizarre, Unique, and Hilarious Trade Show Items
http://www.discountdisplays.co.uk/our-blog/15-bizarre-unique-hilarious-trade-show-items/
Mysterious Object (named "Peggy") Spotted at the Edge of Saturn's Rings
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2013/12/saturn-rings-peggy/
A whole buttload of movie posters
http://impawards.com/
In this week's "It's-about-TIME" department: United Nations to Adopt Asteroid Defense Plan
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=un-asteroid-defense-plan
Inside the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
http://www.neatorama.com/2013/12/16/The-Dallas-Cowboys-Cheerleaders/#!p0GIG
Four Famous Movies and Shows That Lied Their Way Into Existence
http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-famous-movies-shows-that-lied-their-way-into-existence/
Here are three completely impractical (well, two of 'em, anyway), yet somewhat cool skills to have:
Firstly, How to Find Waldo
http://alturl.com/yktty
then, How to Get Out of Handcuffs
http://mentalfloss.com/article/52447/how-get-out-handcuffs
and, finally, How to Make Paper Airplanes Fly Forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2sozrof3HY
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